some teachers can be so funny! here are some of mine:
~ art teacher while we were supposed to be watching a video: "Shut up and watch the naked people!!!!!" referring to the artworks in the video
~ geography teacher "if anyone ever scares you, you go up to them and say 'come HERE YOU SEXY BEAST' and do this" and pretended to knee the male student where it really hurts
~ maths teacher knows all the bus timetables of not only sydney, but also perth and adelaide, and if an answer in maths is the same as the number of a bus route, proceeds to tell us ALL about where it stops and what time it comes etc
~ my friend's teacher from another school "The hsc is the modern equivalent of those rituals where the youth was taken up to the mountain top and had his teeth knocked out."
~ various teachers "could you stop TOUCHING each other???" to female and male as well as male and male
~ instructions from science teacher "you [to my friend], see me at lunch to get that note, you [to me], cut your hair!!!"
~ english teacher to a male student "YOU! You're buff and brawny, come help me carry this!"
~ another maths teacher who uses stories to teach us maths "hi i'm delta! i represent the discriminant. Sometimes I go zoom, sometimes i go whoosh." and also invented a dance to teach us logarithms known as *the logarithm dance*
there have been heaps more over the years, can't remember any more now...