is this betrayal? (1 Viewer)

[FreakTrigger]

I would definitely be angry, but since it happened two years ago, I'm willing to let it go after giving him a warning - strike one!

It is unfaithful, but I wouldn't put it up there with cheating. After all, it was eye-candy - no physical cheating involved, and he couldn't possibly have been emotionally cheating because he didn't know the ho.

If you have been happy with your boyfriend for the past two years, then there is no reason for you two to break up. It hurts now, but after awhile you'll get over it. At least he confessed, as late as it was.

Wise words spoken.

I get the feeling that responding in this thread I'd shade things more in the style of my own relationships - which is to say that very few girls I've been with would give two flips if i'd been in a strip club, if not find it outright humorous to hear the retellings of the stories afterward.

hence, I'd say Dreamerish's reply basically has the right grip of the logic for this.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

Woot! Concordance.

 

[withoutaface]

You're way overreacting.

 

[chelzmalee]

Isn't a peep show pretty much the same as watching porn vids on the net? I mean, in the sense that both mean as little as eachother.. And it's not like the guy screwed the stripper or anything..

 

[carpediem]

He has danced with the devil , cut off his genitals

 

[Serius]

its basically porn because the girl behind the glass cant see you...

its even less erotic then normal porn because there is no actual sex to watch, just a lone girl... u know.. doing her thing.

i dont really see whats the big deal... all i can see he did wrong was acting like it was a bad thing to do. 2yrs ago he shoulda been all casual like " yeah had a pretty good time while u were away, u know went surfing, went to a party oh and the other day i went and saw a peep show!"

i dont get the idea of males hiding their sexual urges...
we are males!
we are sexual beings!
u cant expect him to not look at porn [ which is basically what a peep show is] unless u are getting him off a minimum of 4 times a week. and if you are away from him for longer than 2 days expect him to look at some porn and have a tug.

fuck its not like he cheated on you, fucked a hooker or even worse your best friend... i doint see how you "can never forgive him" and have lost your trust in him or some bullshit.

do you find it so "hugely offensive" that he has to take care of his natural biological urges?
how can it possibly be right up there with cheating? you find looking at another naked woman up there with cheating? so what is it if he goes to the beach and sees some girl in a swimsuit... is that comparable to him getting a blowjob from a stranger or something?

guess what honey, yeah you are over reacting and although its not something i would do, i think it is perfectly acceptable [ it becomes another issue if it progresses more than the girl stripping however]

its not such a big deal and i think he is a great guy that he felt it was an issue of trust and that he needed to tell you. maybe he is trying to rid himself of all secrets in the relationship because he is thinking of making it more serious. i dunno

anyways gl with him andi hope for his sake he doesnt pay for a lap dance cause i can only imagine what you would do if he did such a thing

 

[AsyLum]

If you have a complaint, give him a blowjob, that'll stabilise things

 

[Lhyviathan]

If you have a complaint, give him a blowjob, that'll stabilise things

... through a peephole.

 

[AsyLum]

Or better still, go find a male stripper, and sekz him good

 

[Lhyviathan]

Or better still, go find a male stripper, and sekz him good

... through a peephole.

 

[Lhyviathan]

Seriously, the fact that he told you should be reason why its not that big a deal. Get over it, if you care about him you wouldnt need to ask us how to deal with your issues.

... through a peephole.

Wait... that doesn't make sense.

 

[blackmagic12005]

so my bf of three years told me last nite he had a 'secret'...that he'd done something stupid and wanted to 'fess up.

he said he had used a 'peep show' at a strippers club (where u go into a small room, watch a girl dance / strip for you - she cant see you but you can see her - and have a toss)

this was two years ago. hes really big on trust, honesty etc now he's just told me this.

i am really hurt and feel betrayed, especially since he already knew i hated strip clubs to start with. i think its right up there with cheating (obvioulsy not the same) but still HUGELY offensive.

girls, how would u feel in this position?
guys, do u think its 'perfectly acceptable' thing to have done?

im not sure im overreacting or what.

wow well if he told you 2 yrs later he can't be big on trust and honesty can he? i think that he was more likely forced or blackmailed into telling you but my advice is if you love him enough and trust that it won't happen again go ahead and forgive him.
i still consider it to be some form of cheating not as bad as the real thing but still bad. good luck

 

[thorrnydevil]

Two years ago?

It's in the past. Here's some wood...build a bridge. **passes wood and small nails**

 

[Genesys]

It was wrong, but at least he hasn't actually touched another girl. He stayed with you for this long so he obviously cares.

kiss and make-up.