[Official Critique Thread] (2 Viewers)

[:: dreami ::]

Yeh I agree

if you post something up you should essentially be able to hack it. Everybody's opinion is their own and quite frankly we should be able to respect that. if somebody goes to the trouble of reading all these stories and is bagged out when they dish out their thoughts... then what's going to make other people want to critique??

bagging out and all is all part of the system, and if real life people are going to have these opinions, what makes you think that the markers (who'll be expecting so much more) wont?

leave them to speak as they like mate. Just hack it!

i think the word is constructive criticism, yet its not what's happenin around here for some people

maybe this whole critique thread was a bad idea in the first place

 

[*Flutterby*]

...you're an idiot.
critique: an article or essay criticising a literary or other work; a review.
i've criticised a work in a thread specifically designed for me to do so and now you're saying that this was uncalled for. you're a moron.
that's like going into some retirement village and being like "AWW FUCK. COME ON. EVERYONE HERE IS SO BORING. ALL THEY DO IS PLAY BINGO AND WATCH TV."
well spank my ass and call me shirley, if you post something in an "official critique thread" ANYONE WITH AN IOTA OF INTELLIGENCE WOULD EXPECT IT TO BE CRITICISED.
ext. 2 requires you to come up with something original not necessarily individual and i'm sorry to say that cluedo books have already been written, distributed and sold many, many times over.



okay. awesome. now let's juxtapose this to your pm.



your grasp of sarcasm can only be described as masterful, BUT WHICH POST HAS THE SARCASM? COME ON DREAMI, LET ME IN ON THE SECRET! DON'T MAKE ME GO ALL SUPER-SLEUTH ON YOU!!!
btw, percentiles don't usually go over a hundred, but you know, keep reaching for that rainbow. AFTER ALL, THIS IS EXT ENGLISH AND NOT EXT MATHS

as for sickwithlove, the person who's actually had their work criticised, i agree with what you said and my criticism probably wasn't helpful in the slightest, but i did preface what i said with the title opinions and that's all i gave: my personal, biased and highly subjective thoughts. unlike my good friend flutterby, i don't feel the need to stop and say "OMG. I SOOOO HOPE U DON'T TINK I AM A COW, BUT I FOUGHT DAT UR STORI WAS KINDA CRAPPY. SOOO SORRI. PLZ DON'T HATE ME" before i deliver them. if you choose to give a shit that i don't like your story, that's up to you.

idiot? moron? now my god u have such a huge vocabulary. ur entitled to your opinion as i am to mine and i dont see the point of slamming her work in the way u did it.
full stop.
and as for that comment that says was originally posted by me. it wasnt

 

[disfcuktional]

Oh Anal (with an acute on the second 'a' so it sounds much frenchier and less grotesque).....

only problem is... it's too good a match, where would all the imperfection lie?

We need imperfection!

LoL

this should be the last interference... let the others retreat back to their critiques and all.. it really is a frustrating thing when you post and wait for responses and when you see that there's a new post you think its for you but its really just two people saying stuff that completely has nothing to do with it.

Sorry guys!

(btw any more critiques would be most appreciated )

 

[400miles]

Anyway enough of the crap back to the critiquing. Flutterby I just read your story and to be honest I wasn't exactly enthralled. Reading it felt like I was reading a scripted TV Soapie... It felt melodramatic, cliched and it didn't really grab my attention. I felt the characters weren't really 3-Dimensional... I don't know, the macho, jock-type character of Aaron got to me a bit, he didn't feel very complex.
Ummm I'll give examples of what I'm saying. The melodramatic aspect kind of ran right through it for me...that whole talk about sex at the start between the girls was a bit of a cringe-fest. The repeated use of 'She wants me' from Aaron was overkill and added to the simplistic feel of the character.
One of the biggest problems I have is the suicide attempt. Suicide is always a bit of a dicey topic to dabble in when writing, especially when you're doing hsc-stuff I find... such as Drama or Ext2. If you are going to do suicide (which is often strongly recommended against by teachers - for good reason too!) then you have to realise that what you're writing about has been written about so many times before - especially by teenagers, and is considered to be very much a construct of teenage angst. You have to be able to find a fresh way to approach suicide if you're adamant about writing about it... and I'm afraid that I didn't feel a trace of 'fresh' in your writing. The razor blades and pills and the cheesy-dreamy line 'Will there be a tomorrow for me?' Wasn't powerful for me. It certainly didn't help me to empathise at all with Skye.
Jessica's relationship with Aaron was also something I felt hard to appreciate. The extra rapings... I don't know... One raping felt like more than enough.... The scene just felt melodramatic again.
As well the ending where everyone dies was melodramatic.

Okay now this is extremely critical but it's just my opinion take it however you like. Oh and also look at the grammar and spelling! Not only did your story open up in Word on my computer with a million green and red lines to indicate the spelling mistakes but there was others that I spotted out right throughout the piece. Some don't matter so much... others do, it just makes it look sloppy.

Good luck with it.

 

[xeuyrawp]

Holy fuck you people are stupid.
I feel like stealing your shit, shit major works and plagiarising them just to teach you idiots a lesson.

You can read mine AFTER everyone has ripped everyone else's off and handed them in.

 

[Monkey Butler]

Yeah, cos it's not gonna be half obvious when the markers read your journal and reflection statement. And imagine they do come across two that are exaclty the same - they're going to go back to the journals, read through both, and y'know, maybe notice that one journal doesn't actually have anything to do with the work... and if you're work's so shit that you have to steal somebody else's to do any good, then you shouldn't be doing 4unit in the first place.

Paranoid bastard

 

[*Flutterby*]

Yeah, cos it's not gonna be half obvious when the markers read your journal and reflection statement. And imagine they do come across two that are exaclty the same - they're going to go back to the journals, read through both, and y'know, maybe notice that one journal doesn't actually have anything to do with the work... and if you're work's so shit that you have to steal somebody else's to do any good, then you shouldn't be doing 4unit in the first place.

Paranoid bastard

lmfao i was really paranoid to begin wit and then decided why not considerin i have three journals filled with research and drafts to prove its mine, as well and everything copied on disc. im safe

 

[Llyrai]

Um, out of curiosity...what happens to this thread now?

Can we still, like use it as an excuse to dis other peoples wrks in order to make ourselves feel better? I could really go for a power trip...LOL

 

[*Flutterby*]

ahh y not lyrilai. mine got ripped to shreds... i still submitted it but
and it can be used for those who havent submitted and want to *nods*

 

[Enlightened_One]

Now everyone can post up their major works, just out of interest, and not worry about plagirism.

I might put mine up, if I can do it on the home computer

 

[xeuyrawp]

Yeah, cos it's not gonna be half obvious when the markers read your journal and reflection statement. And imagine they do come across two that are exaclty the same - they're going to go back to the journals, read through both, and y'know, maybe notice that one journal doesn't actually have anything to do with the work... and if you're work's so shit that you have to steal somebody else's to do any good, then you shouldn't be doing 4unit in the first place.

Paranoid bastard

Yes, because every marker marks the same one - not.
Furthermore, I'm glad you know how the system works- they don't read your journal unless there is cause for concern. The marker has to get up and walk to the senior marker and explain the situation. Then they get permission to read the journal.

Oh, and 14 works last year got ZERO because of plagiarism.
Paranoid bastard?

And my work is quite good, I've had 4 HSC markers read it, several times. One of them a senior marker.

 

[Monkey Butler]

Fair enough, the same marker doesn't read the same one, but there must be a farily high probability of plagirists getting caught if 14 did last year - how would that happen d'you reckon? Maybe because the reflection statement had nothing to do with the work, and upon further investigation, neither did the journal. Markers aren't stupid, they'd realise the difference in language use/sophistication/style/quality of the mw and the reflection statement.

And I don't believe that anyone would actually be stupid enough to undertake this course, and not only plagirise, but plagirise a work from THIS YEAR... odds on you're going to get caught.

Yep, paranoid bastard.

 

[xeuyrawp]

Fair enough, the same marker doesn't read the same one, but there must be a farily high probability of plagirists getting caught if 14 did last year - how would that happen d'you reckon? Maybe because the reflection statement had nothing to do with the work, and upon further investigation, neither did the journal. Markers aren't stupid, they'd realise the difference in language use/sophistication/style/quality of the mw and the reflection statement.

And I don't believe that anyone would actually be stupid enough to undertake this course, and not only plagirise, but plagirise a work from THIS YEAR... odds on you're going to get caught.

Yep, paranoid bastard.

Don't you understand?
If someone plagiarises from you, the BOS will fail YOU BOTH.

And what you said above DID happen last year. The plagiarised work that my teacher caught WAS taken from the same year. She didn't see both works, she saw one, which had a bit taken from another, and thought that something was iffy because the writing styles didn't match.

She took it to the head marker and requested to look in the journal. There were only a few pages done in journal, and she gave it to supervisor. The supervisor then makes every marker read the bits of it, to see if they recognise it from anywhere, and bingo- the studentS (note plural) got caught. The BOS doesnt give a shit WHO stole it from who- they were both failed.

This is only the ONE story that my teacher told us.

Very simple.

 

[mayhemily]

geebers i think everyone is suffering from hsc induced evilness!! settle down guys... and for the people that have done some serious criticising lately, how bout you post your own work up? only fair i reckon.

 

[400miles]

i dont think the rule was that you have to have posted your own story up to critique someone elses work...
but maybe that's just me

 

[400miles]

but here's my major work anyway

i'll accept all feedback good or bad... after all... that is the purpose of this thread... right?

 

[ameh]

Hey can someone critique my story, or atleast make a comment on the writing style?

 

[pitted]

ok i have already posted mine up on the other thread
however
i havent recieved any feedback
so im widening my audience
here it is
now im hoping that these are the right ones...

 

[zhongie]

Critique Please

Hello.

well, there's alot of bitterness being flung around. But the deadline is past and everything, so I'll just post mine up here, although it's in the other thread too.

 

[Llyrai]

The Beast That Shouted "I" At The Heart Of The World

I shall join the crowd!
Ive got spellos...i know...SIGH! But 50/50 here I come!

I like caps... LOL