Should virginity be regarded as a virtue in modern society? (1 Viewer)

[*TRUE*]

It's a way to connect with someone. And really express love for them. Your relationship becomes so much more bigger and better with sex.

Also yes you've seen the other side, so learn from that. You just need to be level headed and have good character judgement. Don't leap into relationships with just any guy. Really get to know someone first. Your friends were probably really young and naive.

Again read my post about marriage.

Sex is a wonderful and intimate way to connect with someone i agree. Id just hate to do it with the wrong person! All those memories later! I want that intimacy , i really do. But i only want it with one man i suppose maybe that is why some young women put such value on waiting.
About my friends , yes some were young & naiive. Others werent though

 

[ur_inner_child]

I can sort of understand a commited relationship such as yours...I definately dont want to judge anyone for what they do. But i also wonder why you dont get married, seeing as you care so much for one another? Do you think maybe people assume that they will not stay with the same person till death do part?

do you mean me personally get married now, or the parents?

me: I'm too young to get married right now. I want to secure my finances and career before I start making a life with someone and sharing our financial and life goals etc.

the parents: they had rather put their money to a mortgage, which... judging by the house they currently live in... was a good move. As for the marriage title, well, it's just a title. You have the same rights if you live in a defacto relationship.

Personally I would like to get married eventually so I can be someone's "wife", but it's just a title. Once I get to be a "wife" doesn't mean I suddenly love them more, or am committed to them more.

It's not that I am assuming I won't be with the person I'm with later, it's that I don't NEED marriage to reassure me that we are committed or in love. But I am still open to the idea that we might not work out, and that's okay because we're young and it was a good relationship at the time.

 

[ur_inner_child]

Sex is a wonderful and intimate way to connect with someone i agree. Id just hate to do it with the wrong person! All those memories later! I want that intimacy , i really do. But i only want it with one man i suppose maybe that is why some young women put such value on waiting.
About my friends , yes some were young & naiive. Others werent though

To be honest, most of the young guys you will meet at the moment will be jerks anyway, so I'm not against you waiting. And I can understand how you might be "wrong". But you can make sure that you're not by getting to know someone really well. Be their friend first, spend heaps of time with them. I didn't go out with my current boyfriend until a year of friendship, and I mean "best friend" sort of friendship.

If anything, it would be THAT more devastating if you were wrong about a man AFTER your marriage anyway. Marriage I suppose makes it sorta easy, but marriage or not, when you boil down to it, it's still about your own decisions and your character judgement. Hopefully you will learn to tell the difference between the jerks and the good guys.

 

[*TRUE*]

do you mean me personally get married now, or the parents?

me: I'm too young to get married right now. I want to secure my finances and career before I start making a life with someone and sharing our financial and life goals etc.

the parents: they had rather put their money to a mortgage, which... judging by the house they currently live in... was a good move. As for the marriage title, well, it's just a title. You have the same rights if you live in a defacto relationship.

Personally I would like to get married eventually so I can be someone's "wife", but it's just a title. Once I get to be a "wife" doesn't mean I suddenly love them more, or am committed to them more.

It's not that I am assuming I won't be with the person I'm with later, it's that I don't NEED marriage to reassure me that we are committed or in love. But I am still open to the idea that we might not work out, and that's okay because we're young and it was a good relationship at the time.

Fair enough
I really hope you guys work out.
I still think waiting till marriage is best - and i will definately do that , but as i said , i really hope you guys work out

 

[fernando]

I still think waiting till marriage is best

same with me...or even a very long term de facto relationship.

actually i don't think i want to get married ever. i think i would be more content being in a de facto relationship.

 

[Kwayera]

Exactly. In the end, marriage is just a ceremony with a few vows that really are meaningless - they're words, and pale in comparison to what you really feel.

 

[*TRUE*]

To be honest, most of the young guys you will meet at the moment will be jerks anyway, so I'm not against you waiting. And I can understand how you might be "wrong". But you can make sure that you're not by getting to know someone really well. Be their friend first, spend heaps of time with them. I didn't go out with my current boyfriend until a year of friendship, and I mean "best friend" sort of friendship.

If anything, it would be THAT more devastating if you were wrong about a man AFTER your marriage anyway. Marriage I suppose makes it sorta easy, but marriage or not, when you boil down to it, it's still about your own decisions and your character judgement. Hopefully you will learn to tell the difference between the jerks and the good guys.

I am actually older than what you probably would thinkI have been with my bestest friend for two years - it was our anniversary on Friday=)
We are waiting - my first kiss still belongs to me. I have so much respect for him , for waiting with me , FOR me. He's the best ever! This "Courting" period is so good because i am experiencing this relationship , but observing his character and personality. His family , his history - all without giving myself to him. Of course , people can change after marriage , nothing is certain - but i think ill be in a great position to make a decision when and if he asks me to be his wife.

 

[fernando]

I have been with my bestest friend for two years...We are waiting - my first kiss still belongs to me

wow :O i have much respect for that.

 

[*TRUE*]

wow :O i have much respect for that.

Thanks!
No one ever says that. Its always , "you idiot"

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Just throwing it out there, but if you've held out on doing ANYTHING physical (kissing, sex, hell, holding hands, whatever)...how are you going to handle it when you get married and start to do all those things? I'm not saying you won't be able to, but damn, I'd freak out if the first real intimate physical contact I had with my husband was on our wedding night. Plus simply looking at it from the perspective of convenience - do you really want first-time sex, virginal jittery awkward where-do-I-put-it-ouch-not-there-oh-there-we-go-oh-god-I-came-already sex on the one night of your life where it really should be the best experience of your life?

 

[*TRUE*]

Just throwing it out there, but if you've held out on doing ANYTHING physical (kissing, sex, hell, holding hands, whatever)...how are you going to handle it when you get married and start to do all those things? I'm not saying you won't be able to, but damn, I'd freak out if the first real intimate physical contact I had with my husband was on our wedding night. Plus simply looking at it from the perspective of convenience - do you really want first-time sex, virginal jittery awkward where-do-I-put-it-ouch-not-there-oh-there-we-go-oh-god-I-came-already sex on the one night of your life where it really should be the best experience of your life?

I am going to have my whole life to perfect it.
I will having nothing to compare it to
I cant wait. It might not make the movies but it will be so wonderful, because it will be OUR history, Just OURS. it might be awkward but we are so close that it will be something to giggle over not be ashamed of
I cant wait. Thats also why you should have a nice loooong honeymoon!

 

[fernando]

have a nice loooong honeymoon!

hehehe

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

hahaha, fair enough

(not laughing at you more the long honeymoon remark)

 

[scaredytiger]

I am going to have my whole life to perfect it.
I will having nothing to compare it to
I cant wait. It might not make the movies but it will be so wonderful, because it will be OUR history, Just OURS. it might be awkward but we are so close that it will be something to giggle over not be ashamed of
I cant wait. Thats also why you should have a nice loooong honeymoon!

okay...so no sex till marriage. i get that.

but no kissing? no affection?

how can you agree to marry someone without that?

how can you know he is the one you want to pursue a lifelong relationship with if you have never actually been in a relationship with him?

ive been best friends with a couple of boyfriends of mine - including my current one - but a best friend youre attracted to doesnt always equate to the person you are great with in a relationship.

 

[*TRUE*]

okay...so no sex till marriage. i get that.

but no kissing? no affection?

how can you agree to marry someone without that?

how can you know he is the one you want to pursue a lifelong relationship with if you have never actually been in a relationship with him?

ive been best friends with a couple of boyfriends of mine - including my current one - but a best friend youre attracted to doesnt always equate to the person you are great with in a relationship.

We are very affectionate!
Kissing is just something special to me personally.
We are great friends but very attracted to one another too.
We ARE in a relationship, very very very much so. very close.
it has been progressive And i hope it keeps on progressing!!!

 

[fernando]

but no kissing? no affection?

how can you know he is the one you want to pursue a lifelong relationship with if you have never actually been in a relationship with him?

but not all relationships have to be bound by the fact that if you don't kiss or mess around that means you're not in a relationship. relationships can't be defined by ways of showing affection.

 

[*TRUE*]

but not all relationships have to be bound by the fact that if you don't kiss or mess around that means you're not in a relationship. relationships can't be defined by ways of showing affection.

Thats right. Affection is an expression of love. I think it is neccessary, but i have boundaries too

 

[fernando]

Thats right. Affection is an expression of love. I think it is neccessary, but i have boundaries too

btw how old are you? if you don't mind me asking.

 

[*TRUE*]

btw how old are you? if you don't mind me asking.

20

 

[Kwayera]

I am actually older than what you probably would thinkIve gone back to do my HSC=)
I have been with my bestest friend for two years - it was our anniversary on Friday=)
We are waiting - my first kiss still belongs to me. I have so much respect for him , for waiting with me , FOR me. He's the best ever! This "Courting" period is so good because i am experiencing this relationship , but observing his character and personality. His family , his history - all without giving myself to him. Of course , people can change after marriage , nothing is certain - but i think ill be in a great position to make a decision when and if he asks me to be his wife.

Well, to be honest, while I respect it I don't really understand it. You've been together for two years without even kissing? Where is the passion?

And you've got it wrong. It's not "giving yourself to him". It's sharing yourself with him, as he does the same.