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so how many of you girls fit my criteria (1 Viewer)

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theism

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i assume you are of some religious persuasion.

surely if you yourself are not a virgin, yet you still see abstinence as important, could you not understand a potential partner who wasn't a virgin, yet 'wishes they were' or at least holds a similar high regard of abstinence?
sure.

if we're both not virgins, and see the importance of abstinence until marriage,

that's great.
in some circumstances that's better because both of you would understand the importance of it.
 

tallkid34

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i'll explain the abstinence thing.

I'm sure most of you won't agree with me,
but to me i make sense.

the reason why marriages break down so far these days, is because the two parties (husband, wife) aren't willing to put in the effort.

marriages arn't an easy thing to do.

now when you think that sex is just for fun, and not something that should be kept within the confines of marriage, that will.. break the moral fibre.

and when the average person today thinks 3 dates, sex = normal,
then really, what can they say about marriage?
I noticed that the word relationship didn't appear anywhere in your explanation which is why you stop shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to your explanation about marriage and abstinence.

Marriages aren't an easy thing to do? Try having a relationship first before jumping headfirst into something I doubt you have very little understanding over.

To be honest, you really don't make any sense at all.
 

theism

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I noticed that the word relationship didn't appear anywhere in your explanation which is why you stop shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to your explanation about marriage and abstinence.

Marriages aren't an easy thing to do? Try having a relationship first before jumping headfirst into something I doubt you have very little understanding over.

To be honest, you really don't make any sense at all.
right.
fair enough.
i've only had a few serious relationships (okay two). but each lasted over a year. (which is pretty good i think)

I think when you put sex out of the equation, relationships for the long term are just easier.

you should refer to the first post when i say i'd only be dating to marry
 

Kwayera

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I don't think a life-long partner can be compromised. (Well at least in the big points)
Having to play an instrument is a big point that cannot be compromised on?

Wow dude, have fun being a bachelor for the rest of your life.
 

theism

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Having to play an instrument is a big point that cannot be compromised on?

Wow dude, have fun being a bachelor for the rest of your life.
no, it can be compromised.

here are the things that can't be compromised on:

a female
a non smoker
non drinker (you don't drink to get drunk. you might have one or two standard drinks, but rarely)
don't take illicit drugs
believe in abstinence, and marriage being a life-long thing.


everything else is just a 'plus'

as for the instrument, it can be replaced with other things.
instrument is just there because it reflects a certain personality trait.

for example, an instrument might mean she's creative, artistic, etc.
or she see's the value of learning an instrument.
that it inspires creativity, etc
it can be replaced with 'painting', 'sculpturing, book writing' etc
 
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-may-cat-

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Man, you can't just package people into little boxes and assume that since they fit the criteria they'll be perfect for you.
 

theism

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Man, you can't just package people into little boxes and assume that since they fit the criteria they'll be perfect for you.
of course not.
these are just my high standards.

I won't compromise the first 5 or so.
everything else is optional.

see each 'criteria' or 'little box' as you put it represents a personality trait.

for example, an instrument may mean that she's creative/artistic,
and that she values life-long learning etc etc.

-designer labels: means that she thinks for herself.
she's not a conformist, and has brains. has the mental capacity to say..hmm.. $250 for this handbag or.. .$2500.. hmmm

abstinence: strong moral fibre (or ethics).. as it'll only be us two that know. ("ethics are what you do when noone is looking.." blah)
 
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Miz Janani

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So, I've made the decision to exclusively date to marry.
So no casual relationships, no 'fun fun' times.

anyway, let me know if you fit my criteria. (or most of it)
I'm not looking to go 'hey asl' to whoever does,
but I just want an idea of how many there actually are.
you can reply if you fit at least 3 of them.

anyway, here it is:

you are:

a female. (although i'm interested in how many guys i share interests with)

a non smoker
non drinker (you don't drink to get drunk. you might have one or two standard drinks, but rarely)
don't take illicit drugs
believe in abstinence, and marriage being a life-long thing.

Don't like rap/gangsta rap/trance/electronica.
now when i say don't like,i mean the literally don't like.
you don't not like it, nor do you like it.
so it's 'meh' to you.

Don't really care about designer labels. (Sorta half half)
you realise that the original desiners for chanel, gucci, versace, etc are all dead and are just run for profit by asian buisnessmen

not into hollywood gossip.
into philanthorphy. (Say what?)
you can play an instrument, preferably piano or violin.
.

Edit: Who would have believed i would fit the criteria :eek:
 
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barnsy

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no, it can be compromised.

here are the things that can't be compromised on:

a female
a non smoker
non drinker (you don't drink to get drunk. you might have one or two standard drinks, but rarely)
don't take illicit drugs
believe in abstinence, and marriage being a life-long thing.

everything else is just a 'plus'

as for the instrument, it can be replaced with other things.
instrument is just there because it reflects a certain personality trait.

for example, and instrument might mean she's creative, artistic, etc.
or she see's the value of learning an instrument.
that it inspires creativity, etc
it can be replaced with 'painting', 'sculpturing, book writing' etc

dude, i can understand that u want a happy relationship, and i can agree with some of the things u say, but u r a total hypocrite! u said that u believe in abstinance, yet u have said that u aren't a virgin!! WTF! u r gonna b a very lonely guy if u keep this sh*t up...sry man.
 

blue_chameleon

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Good luck with your quest bro.

Relationships grow with your experiences. You learn stuff. Sometimes they work, other times they don't. I'd hate to put myself under such pressure of 'having a relationship for the sole purpose of leading into marriage', with only having had 2 past relationships.

If I were in a relationship that was expected from the start to 'lead into marriage' as you put it, I would want to have gained experience through previous relationships. But I wouldn't take this approach anyway. Imo I think you're being pretty unrealistic in hoping to find 'the one' based purely off some set criteria you have established, and crossing your fingers in your marriage that you have picked the right criteria.

But good luck.
 
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theism

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Good luck with your quest bro.

Relationships grow with your experiences. You learn stuff. Sometimes they work, other times they don't. I'd hate to put myself under such pressure of 'having a relationship for the sole purpose of leading into marriage', with only having had 2 past relationships.

If I were in a relationship 'leading into marriage', as you put it, I would want to have gained experience through previous relationships. I think you're being pretty unrealistic when you expect to find 'the one' based purely off some set criteria you have established.

But good luck.
i've had about 3.. 'fun ones', and 2 serious ones
but i do appreciate your sincerity.

I do realise that relationships grow with experiences.

but i also think that there are different ways.
for example, you might meet someone who fits your criteria, and her's yours.
you set boundaries for the relationship, etc.
work at the relationship.

that, way you have a nice, strong 'foundation' to build a 'marriage on' if you so wish..

that, and you wouldn't see 'cracks' from the emotional baggage you/other gained from previous relationships.
 

theism

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what if a chick possesses all these qualities, but couldnt learn an instrument because her parents couldnt afford lessons?

i can play a number of instruments but only because my parents sent me to lessons. i gave up playing as soon as i could, i didnt enjoy it, havent yet seen the value of it, and am not remotely creative

youre assuming that a particular ability is associated with character traits when its not always the case.. ie, a chick that doesnt buy designer labels doesnt mean she thinks for herself. maybe she's just poor.
]

lol.
haha.

look i told you, i'm only not compromising on the first 5.
everything else is fine.

it doesn't matter if she 'couldn't afford the lessons'.
if she's willing to learn, i'll be able to teach her guitar/bass/drums.

mm that's true.
but when you think about it that 'hollywood goss' also takes care of that.
besides, the other traits interrwine

for example, remember the craze with alcohol in highschool?

' LETS GO PARTY GET DRUNK, SPEW AND DRINK SOME MORE!!, BECAUSE IT"S THE COOL THINGS TO DO"

i'm pretty sure a few of them turned into alcoholics who beat their girlfriends/kids
 
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theism

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What a fucking shit ass criteria.
i guess your criteria is:

nice ass
nice body?

good luck with marriage friend.
oh right.

you probably won't get married..
you think that marriage is 'old fashioned' when really it's because you don't want to half your shit (beat up ute, with your massive subwoofer) in the probable circumstance that you do split.

instead what you'd do is live together,
not knowing that your actually in a 'de facto relationship',
and getting your ass whooped by the property settlment when you break up

then you'd only be left with half a beat up ute, (or wrx or nissan skyline) and half a subwoofer
 
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Kwayera

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abstinence: strong moral fibre (or ethics).. as it'll only be us two that know. ("ethics are what you do when noone is looking.." blah)
So if she's perfect in all other regards and then you discover she's not a virgin on the wedding night you'd dump her like yesterday's news?
 

barnsy

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i guess your criteria is:

nice ass
nice body?

good luck with marriage friend.
oh right.

you probably won't get married..
you think that marriage is 'old fashioned' when really it's because you don't want to half your shit in the probably situation that you do split.

instead what you'd do is live together,
not knowing that your actually in a 'de facto relationship',
and getting your ass whooped by the property settlment when you break up
whoa, settle down mate!
 

theism

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So if she's perfect in all other regards and then you discover she's not a virgin on the wedding night you'd dump her like yesterday's news?
well no.
because we're married.
honestly doesn't matter.
what matter's is that abstinence happens for OUR relationship till marriage.

but really,
i would of really hoped that she would of been honest with me.
 
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