Not teen angst. But my work has been categorised as one of those overly-complicated-going-nowhere pieces... Its pretty much a dystopian story of the last two women of a dead matriarchal civilisation. Its also written backwards...
I've signed it off as a short story but it's more of a narrative-poem. (I needed the extra word length).
If anyone tries to read it, just realise its purposefully jarring at the beginning. Maybe read the RS before? But that might ruin it a bit... I don't know. I'm just glad its all over.
That was really fantastic. It wasn't jarring, and although the language was much less lucid than towards the end, it always seemd deliberate and not unengaging. That really was spectacular. It was such a complex subject (as evidenced by the INSANE amount of terminology in your reflection) but it never seemed convoluted or confusing when I was reading it. The whole thing seemed very natural. You were perfectly right in your reflection statement when you said you wanted to maintain the poetic aesthetic in your writing; you could absolutely tell.
I was also happy to see the Regina Spektor reference, because I was wondering during the whole hair cutting scene whether you were aware of the similarities. Also, that scene, I wrote down the day somewhere - yes, day 9, was really well done.
What really impressed me, having done the course too, was how all your research, the stuff you talked about in the reflection, didn't seem forced or over-stated. It all was very seamless.
I also wondered whether you were a chap or not the whole time, and it was good to see you were a male. This might be super-sexist or unfeminisit, but it sort of re-affirmed the whole feminisit-equality edge, in that none of the characters were portrayed negatively and there was no accusations against genders and things. Normally, I'm quite the anti ball busting reverse sexist feminism, but this really interested me.
Argh! It was really good! I'd reccomend people reading this thread to have a look at this one. It was rather ironic that the whole narrative was so... soothing almost, and all around me my family was bickering while I read it and people were walking in and out of the room, but I wasn't listening at all because I was riveted.
The whole canonical, 'male' way of writing seems like an interesting idea too. It was would been so rewarding/interesting to explore something so... fundamental to writing, you know, that challenges... I don't know, it was just fantastic, and I'm being
way too effusive here, but it was brilliant.
What're you doing at uni?
I just forgot to mention, and in an effort to avoid appearing too swooning/uncritical, there was one bit that I thought was super-ridiculous. 'A few winters past Ana made a raft of strong reeds and palms. It was modelled upon old Matriarchal plans. It had a cabin for two' - I know she's meant to be logical and rational, but how the heck did she manage to make a 'cabin for two' with, what I can only suppose was an ensuite, dining hall and spa bath out of reeds and palms? I know I'm nitpicking, and it's a testament to how good the work was that despite thinking about this bit a while when it was written, I had completely forgotten about it by the end...
as is the fact that you state your reflection statement word count to be 1493 when its really 1540 or something...Might make my own lies seem more realistic...
