I'm a bit irritated at the moment. I spoke to this girl and she told me that I'm not a real christian because I have friends who are gay, I don't go to church, I've hurt my parents because I moved out (ie, thou shall honour thy mother and father) and that my boyfriend and I get interesting every now and then.
sorry for getting sidetracked yes to answer your question ur_inner_child:
I'm sorry that you had this bad experience with your friend. Nobody can tell you for sure who is a real christian or not because that's up to God to decide. You will find that there are many Christians out there who have a fire-and-brimstone, Old Testament way of looking at things and if you were living in the old testament times (im talking about ancient, thousands of years ago) quite possibly she could be right.
So before I delve into deeper concepts I just want to share with you a bit about what savation is.
Basically we were all made in God's image by God and were meant to enjoy life in the Garden of Eden. Now as you probably know Adam took a bite from an apple from the tree of knowledge of good and evil (which Eve gave him) so thereby causing sin (rebellion against God's rule) to enter the world and condemning all humankind. So from a strictly Old Testament persective no-one is truly worthy of salvation (being saved from our sin and going to Heaven).
So in the OT times the way to *try* to become righteous with God (acceptable in His sight) was to offer sacrifices at a temple and try to live a holy life in accordance with the Ten Commandments. Notice how this puts the onus on ourselves for our own salvation.
But in New Testament times, God sent Jesus to Earth for two reasons:
1. To experience what it was like for humans to be tempted by sin
2. More importantly, to be the equivalent of that sacrifice in the OT times so that everybody who believed in Jesus could become righteous with God.
A verse from the Bible which I want to share with you is this "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)
So even though nobody relly deserves to be saved, God took the initiative to restore people to a proper relationship with him.
This doesn't mean tha Christians are any better people than non-Christians. In fact, Christians are still prone to sinning and have these weaknesses. The only difference is that Christians know their sins will be wiped away every time and have a 100% assurance of going to Heaven.
So really, Christians are not saved because of what they do but for what God has done for them. Nothing we do can make God love us more and nothing we do can make God love us any less.
In the NT you will find that God loved everyone (in fact if there were openly homosexual people in those times Jesus would have accepted them with open arms). He associated with "tax collectors", and "sinners" and prostitutes and whores. Having gay friends does not make you any less acceptable in God's eyes. In fact, God encourages His believers to accept everyone unquestiongly.
As for going to church, Christians think it is important to worship God and understand Him more but it's not essential. After all, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath" (Mark 2:27)
As for moving out of your home I can't say because I don't know about your circumstances. And even though pre-marital sex is discouraged in the Old Testament God won't love you any less because of it.
In fact, the only way for one to go to Heaven is to acknowledge and confess that you are an inherently sinful person and then accept Jesus into your life knowing that He has died for your sins. We don't go to Heaven by leading Godly lives and observing the Sabbath.
So in answering your question, churches in a modern day and age have to deal with changing shifts in societal attitudes and expectations. Premarital sex is considered wrong as is homosexuality but that doesnt mean that Churches should be running a closed shop. Just because they warmly invite sinners to Church it does not mean that they have to necessarily agree with the ideas and attitudes of that sinner. We as Christians should not "conform to the ways of this world" but accept everyone lovingly just as God accepted us.